Saturday, May 18, 2024

The Elderly In Revolt

April 14, 2010 by  
Filed under Poetry

(Or as the Sun Newspaper said, ‘The revolting elderly’)

First for my friends who may not be familiar with some of the names, an explanation:

1.The M1, motorway the spine of England.

2.Ted Heath. Politician, musician, the oldest member of Parliament.

3.Betty Boothroyd, former Speaker of the House of Parliament.

The Elderly in Revolt.

The Politician on the telly demanding plans for the Millenie,

The old man dozing, smiling and posing,

Oh, we have, yes we have , we,ve planned and schemed

The things that we will do, are as yet undreamed.

Our friends from the North down the M.1 streaming,

Sixtreen abreast, four carriage ways filling,

Come the Mobile chairs, souped up engines whining,

All dressed in black leather, polished and shining.

With super charged Zimmers all outriding,

All bound for Hyde Park to have some fun!

Overhead, old pilots flying their microlites,glint in the sun.

Ducking-diving- looping the loop,

Some flying blind just to make a full troop.

The Police are all grounded, their cars all clamped

By a troop of old Wardens out from their camp,

Their radios too are all expired,

A team of old technicians had them rewired.

“Recall Parliament” , the Tabloids all thundered.

They did- but the Westminster Oldies already had plundered.

Ted Heath tottered across the floor,

All the time conducting the Riverdance score.

Betty Boothroyd left the chair to lead a team of high kickers,

All tapping and stepping, displaying their knickers.

The Lords were aleaping, not a single one sleeping.

Bishops played games with Ermine clad Dames.

Beefeaters in the Tower line danced by the hour,

The Crown Jewels neglecting, the Ravens objecting.

The people all clapping and calling for more.

Newspaper headlines, with Editors complaining

Litter louts, Lager louts, we have managed to clear

But these “Lucazade Loonies” take some explaining,

These revolting OldPeople all having fun!

Why don,t they go home and sit in the sun?

Finally now the Queen Mum takes the salute,

Hand raised high, clutching her champagne flute.

Then a touch on his shoulder ” Cup of tea dear,

Enjoy your nap? Now dont let it get cold.”

So that’s it then, it’s all over.Now it can be told,

The Blighters have won, well perhaps not quite,

We can still totter out and register our vote.

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